Here is your disclaimer: This is not a post to SHAME anyone! Like seriously, if you feel shame from this at all, I have grossly miscommunicated my message and would be willing to try again. This post was made because I saw my friends secretly and silently hurting. I am taking the time to write because depression, anxiety, obesity, low self-esteem, and many other world-y standards and self-sabotaging habits are like unnoticed viruses that are sweeping the world. No this doesn’t have to do anything with COVID...sorry. I witness this in the communities that I live in SO MUCH. I want my people (you & me) to not only be heard but to also get help. Anytime I suggest help I am the first one to volunteer as well as do what I can to enlist an army to come with. I'm writing this as a brother, son, friend, confidant, and lover of you.
It hurts me to see you hurting. It hurts me to know who you are now, and compare it to the person that YOU WANT TO BE. Unlike 99% of my post this has nothing to do with business or professional development. This is all about our emotional and mental health. I feel and see it now more than ever.
I know that you see yourself with a “problem” that you just can't shake, or maybe to you, it's just “a part of who I am”, or just “some phase that everyone has to go through”. We as a society need to stop accepting our challenges as permanent labels. We all have our differences, but if that difference is keeping you from living a healthy meaningful life, it's a challenge that you have to face head on and confront it. Not only for your sake but for all the people you love around you.
Don't be confused by what feels right, and what is healthy for you. I’ve watch obese people justify heart attacks because they enjoy eating whatever they want. I see people with depressions justify self exile and harm because they just can't handle ________. I watch habitual liars justify life threatening habits because “it is just who I am”, or “you just don't understand what I'm going through”. Well maybe I don’t, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t care and I don’t want to help.
Most people don't realize how their decisions affect others. Oftentimes when someone talks about this we immediately think about the victims, the people who are having to experience these awful situations. Rape victims are effected by aggressive beast. Husbands and Wives are victims of spouses who don't take care of themselves and each other. But what about the people you were supposed to affect with your positive actions? What about the person you could have encouraged today but you were too busy with yourself that you missed it. What about the charity or local business you were supposed to help support but because you didn't take care of your finances or spent it on the good stuff, that family goes without eating. And my biggest one, what about the person who was genuinely trying to help you, but because they didn't do EXACTLY what you wanted for help, or say something the exact way that you needed to hear it, you pushed them away instead. (Don't get me wrong taking care of yourself is most important, where it hurts is when we avoid growth and development for comfort, stunting our growth with others.) It hurts me to see people hurting. I see not only the pain you keep inside, but I also see the tears and heartache of the people who want to be close and help but just can’t find the way how. When you think or act out against yourself because you think no one cares. I promise you are hurting someone else more than you think. The truth is, we don't always know how to help. If you help guide us on how and be open to us messing up along the way we all will be in a much better place. And lastly don’t take this as a reason to hide your problems so that “others don’t have to deal with my issues”. As much as you may think that works, people close can still feel your pain whether it is spoken or not.
It hurts me to see you hurting, more than you will ever know. It hurts to know you are in pain, it hurts to see you cry, and most importantly not enjoy the healthy life you deserve. When you hurt you aren't the only one.
So in the name of love, I'm begging you.
Let's figure out how to work through this
-The friends who want to help