When people ask me about my life, such as, the things that have led me to this point they ask the big questions, "What has molded you, how did you choose a stance on work, religion, relationships?". Typically my answer sounds something like, "well it really started my junior year". My junior year in high school was like most people's senior year in college. It was 16 years of things building up that I had simply grown tired of. I was approaching fast upon a fork in the road. I had to choose, live a life that I had grown up around and seen my entire life, or choose to embark on a completely different path and dive into uncharted waters that no one around me had ever known. If you know anything about my childhood you will understand that, growing up in Gary, I didn't have the best of influences. I didn't have mentors or people to look up to with good marriages, good jobs, nice homes, fast cars, let alone, people being mentally stable and having a good outlook on life. I had met so many people that were miserable all the time. They worked, lived, and killed with the same people all day everyday. Don't get me wrong, the fact that some people could be so loyal to one place and one life style is remarkable and I wish I had the same sense of loyalty to my hometown. But what is also remarkable, is how everyone followed in the assembly line of life and no one tried to disrupt the machine. We were trapped. Everyone knew that they weren't going to be successful. Everyone just knew that they would never move out of Gary or have a cool job; and worst part of it was, everyone just accepted it. Not me. I wanted a life that looked nothing like the one people around me had. I wanted the option to live in a much better community. I wanted to provide for my family anything that came to mind, drive cars that you see on TV commercials, even if it was just the newest Honda Accord. I wanted to travel across the country and seas. I wanted to work hours that allowed me to enjoy the fruits of my labor and not make just enough to be alive. I wanted more. The reason my junior year was so pivotal was because I started to question everything. I questioned the career paths that my parents took, I questioned if I ever wanted to live close to a place like Gary or not, and most importantly if a God, more specifically Jesus, was something that could exist. What I thought would be some quick decision on life turned out to be the toughest and most eye opening year of my life...
(TO BE CONTINUED)
You see, you wouldn't ask why the rose that grew from the concrete had damaged petals
On the contrary, we would all celebrate its tenacity.
We would all love its will to reach the sun. Well, we are the roses. This (life) is the concrete and these are my damaged petals.
Don't ask me why (don't ask why). Thank God. -Tupac